My name is Hannah Bledsoe and at twenty-five years old I have learned that life does not ever go like you originally planned. I was trying to hold myself together after losing both of my parents within the last year, while also trying to convince myself that the new job would be something I could stay in the long term.
Greif had changed me.
So had everything that came with it.
Over the past year, my life has become something I cannot see or understand clearly anymore. But once I needed to hold myself and my family together with a job, so I powered through and got my interview done.
I struggled with PTSD, anxiety, and the constant feeling that something bad was about to happen. I had tried to keep working through it, but holding down long-term employment had become harder than I wanted to admit.
Finally, I landed a gig and am in the parking lot ready to walk into my first shift and my head is yelling at me to stay inside my nice comfortable car, and I thought it would be nice to turn around and go back to my nice comfortable home where I did not have to converse with people or go out in public.
I stepped inside the ornate, old-fashioned school building my heart pumping fast. Already I was nervous and overwhelmed, and one look at the environment I was going to be working in was enough to make my stomach churn. My mind would not shut off and the anxiety begged to be felt as I walked on the hard wood floors my feet guiding me to the custodian’s main office.
I had a feeling working as an after-hours custodian would be fun, or incredibly eerie, but truly, I was ready for an adventure, or something to pay the bills or just both. I was just ready to get my hands dirty already. I was ready to start facing anxiety.
I took a deep breath and walked farther into the building again, my head pounds with doom. I turn around to walk back to my car because I feel as if I will have a panic attack.
Suddenly before I could turn around, my boss appeared in front of me with a creepy wide-eyed grin on his face. I felt like hurling right there, but I held it together long enough for him to say just one sentence.
"Here is your shirt, and your closet is over there. Start in hallway B and work your way to hallway A."
No more instructions were given. He just said one sentence and as was waiting for him to say more, he turned on his heals and walked away.
I walked into my closet and immediately felt dread swell up inside me yet again.
Before I could walk back to the closet to start my shift, I heard shuffling feet and panic. I turn around fast and hear my name.
“Hannah!”
I turned around, shocked and surprised.
“Riley?”
My best friend, Riley Knapper, came walking toward me with a wild grin on her face.
“You actually came!”
I chuckled slightly.
“I told you I was coming.”
“Yeah, well you have said that about the last three jobs, Hannah.”
I laughed and rolled my eyes.
“Well, let’s not get into that.” I said desperately, trying to change the subject.
Riley laughed and hugged me tightly. It felt good to see her; it left me feeling safer and calmer to start my first day. She knew what the past year had done to me emotionally and even physically. She knew about my parents. She knew how hard it was for me to hold down a job.
She never judged me a single bit for any of this. She was just there, next to me through everything.
“You will do great.” She spoke.
I gave her a nervous look.
“I really hope so.” I wished.
She squeezed my shoulder.
“I will be working on the other side of the building. If you need me, call.”
“Okay.” I said as the anxiety started to rise again.
Riley walked to her side of the building, leaving me standing next to my cart.
For just a second, I felt so much better.
Maybe this could really work and maybe this is the perfect job.
I sighed loudly, wondering what lies around the corners of this eerie school building. The closet was small and cramped. Shelves of cleaning supplies lined up the walls, yet everything I needed was on my cart already.
Then I noticed a note.
"Clean it how you want; they will just dirty it again tomorrow."
I looked at the notes more clearly.
“Um, Okay.........”
Something about this note bothered me. Then I noticed something.
Blood dripped from the paper my note was written on, and I felt dread rise in me. This time it did not pass so quickly. My stomach twisted in knots. For a second, I could not even breathe- or at least that was what my mind told me. My mind started to race for a mile a minute.
This is fine; it’s probably fake. Somone is messing with you. I looked all around me. Nothing. I threw the note away from me. I did not want to overreact on my first day of work; I have done that enough in the past year. My body had become way too familiar with panic and convincing me that I was in danger even when I really wasn’t.
I cleared my throat and put my favorite playlist of true crime podcasts on my phone. I tapped my fingers to the beat of the introduction as the show started. I began to feel excited and happy that I finally got a job to help me pay rent and bills. I could do this," I silently chanted.
I went to open my closet door. My excitement immediately diminished, and panic started to settle in the back of my throat and the middle of my stomach. As I was pushing my cart into the first hallway to clean, I felt a presence, and not a very fun or kind one. I stopped. The hallway was bare. I looked behind me. There was nothing there. I took a slow deep breath.
Hannah, you are ok. You are at work. You are safe. I kept repeating this in my mind as I trudged down the hallway. Darkness not only covers the school, but it covers my mind as well. I kept going down the hallway until I got to the end, darkness all around filling the hallway. I walked into the first room and pushed my cart to the bathroom, still feeling a presence but choosing to ignore it. I need that paycheck, I thought to myself.
I tried to focus on cleaning. I really did. But then I heard loud footsteps. I stopped moving completely and slowly turned around. An older custodian lady was standing behind me. She looked unkempt and ready to crack at any moment. I stared at her. I thought it was unusual that she was inside the closet itself. How did she have a key? What did she want?
“Can I help you?”
She did not say a word. She just stared at me. Then she spoke.
“You know three custodians died in here, right?”
I felt my stomach drop.
“What?”
I stepped back almost tripping over my own two feet. My heart started to pound wildly. For some reason, her face was familiar to my mother’s. Not because she looked exactly like her but because she had the same old tired expression my mom sometimes would have near the end. The kind of look that made me feel like she knew something top secret.
I blinked my eyes and shook my head. When I opened my eyes, the woman was gone.
I screamed. I stepped back and went to the closet door to run out when I realized the door was locked. I grabbed the handle frantically. Nothing. I pulled it again. Still, it would not budge.
“Riley!”
No answer.
“Riley!”
No sound from the other side of the building. I pound the door as hard as I can. No answer. I looked at my phone. My shift started at four. It was close to five, and no one was in the building. My breath became heavy and panicked. My chest tightened.
I knew what was happening. A panic attack. The same feeling I know all too well and had gone through many jobs many times before. Except this time, I had nowhere to run. I realized I had bitten off more than I could chew, and it was time to just get out of the building, so I grabbed the lighter I had in my pocket and tried lighting something on fire so the fire alarm would go off. Instead of solving the problem, I made it worse. Smoke began filling the room. Immediately regret what I just did.
“What did I just do?”
My head started spinning.
I felt myself get fainter and fainter, soon I was unable to breathe. I made things worse. I thought about my mother, father, Riley.
I’m sorry. I thought to myself. Then everything went black.
I woke up in a medical center near the main office of the school. A man stood next to me with his hands on his hips. It was my boss shaking his head in disapproval. But Somone else was standing beside me.
“Riley?”
My best friend looked mentally and physically drained. Her eyes were red like she had been crying.
“You scared the heck out of me.”
I tried to sit up straight.
“What happened.”
“They found you unconscious in the hallway.”
I stared at her and felt like I could see through her.
“No, I was in the closet.”
Riley looked at me, confused.
“What?”
Riley Frowned.
“Hannah...” Riley trailed off
I was getting frustrated.
“I was locked in the closet.”
Riley shook her head.
“There was not anyone in the closet, Hannah.”
My stomach dropped.
“What do you mean there wasn’t anyone?”
Riley opened her mouth to answer. Then the door of the medical door cracked open. I looked frantically towards the door. There was no one there. When I turned around, Riley was staring at me with concern.
“Hannah, you need to calm down.”
“I am trying.” I almost yelled.
She reached to squeeze my hand.
“I am right here.”
The words she spoke should have made me feel great even better. But instead, the hair on my arms decided to stand up. I looked down at our hands and her fingers felt cold and I saw her hand fade away. I looked at her face. For just a moment, her face got blurry. I blinked her face as normal again. I shake my head and try to gain composure.
“Riley?”
“Yeah?”
I cleared my throat.
“Did you come with me on the ambulance ride?”
She looked confused.
“What ambulance?”
I frowned.
“The ambulance that brought me here.”
Riley stared at me.
“Hannah, I didn't come with you.”
My heart stopped.
“What?”
She looked toward the door.
“I wasn't even working tonight.”
I stared at her. The room suddenly felt colder.
“But you were here.”
Riley shook her head.
“No, I wasn't.”
“You were sitting right there.”
I pointed toward the chair beside my bed. The chair was empty. Completely empty. I looked back at Riley. She was gone.
“Riley?”
I looked around the room.
“Riley!”
My boss looked at me like I was crazy.
“Who are you talking too?”
I froze.
“Riley.”
Now he looked confused.
“Riley who?”
My heart sunk and began pounding hard.
“My best friend, she works on the other side of the custodial hall.”
My boss shook his head.
“Hannah, you don't have a best friend who works here. Emmet works on the other side of the building, and he has not even come in for his shift yet.”
I stared at him.
“Ye- yes I do.” I stammered.
He did not answer, just looked at me with concern.
“You need to rest.”
I looked back at where riley was sitting. The empty chair. I see a single strand of hair lying on the seat. I knew that hair and I knew riley. I knew she was sitting there. At least that’s what my head was telling me. Maybe grief and everything had really caught up with me. Or maybe riley had been there. I just had no idea anymore. Somehow that scared me more than ghosts.